Jokes are formulaic.

Below are several examples of jokes I've crafted or have come from my workshops.

I've grouped them by type of "formula". Study the patterns to understand how they work.

If you have any questions or want to discuss how I can help you/your team craft these, loads of ways to find me at the bottom of this page.

The Left Turn

Company Broadcom (AppNeta)
What do they do?
AppNeta is the only network performance monitoring solution that delivers visibility into the end-user experience of any application, from any location, at any time.
Target persona:
Network observability managers
Industries served?
All
Point to impress:
Network operations managers get visibility within the company when their network frequently experiences downtime.
The joke:

Success in network operations is about being invisible and people not knowing you exist.

I could have crushed that job in high school.

Company HiMama
What do they do?
ERP & CRM for daycare owners.
Target persona:
Daycare owners & administrators
Industries served?
Early childhood education
Problem they solve:
Daycare administrators struggle to deal with certain kinds of overbearing, rude parents.
The joke:

I feel for Daycare Directors. Parents are out of their minds.

Trust me…

…I have them.

Company Interplay Learning
What do they do?
Training simulation technology for HVAC technicians
Target persona:
Learning & development leaders
Industries served?
Property management companies
Problem they solve:
Property managers need to ensure their staff are trained on how to maintain HVAC equipment, as it’s expensive to outsource or to invest in replacing faulty equipment.
The joke:

It’s cheaper to repair than replace.

Ask anyone who’s divorced.

Superlatives aka "Creative Comparisons"

Company Powerchord
What do they do?
Powerchord acts as a CRM for manufacturers of high-consideration goods, who sell exclusively through local dealerships.
Target persona:
Heads of Marketing
Industries served?
Manufacturers (of high-considerations goods)
Problem they solve:
Marketers at manufacturers of high-conisderation goods invest marketing dollars to generate leads, assign them to local dealerships who may also represent a competitor.

Not only would vendors lack visibility into the lead once they assigned it, but dealers would close the client by selling them a competing brand.
The joke:

“You lack control over your dealer network. 

The only thing you have less control over… 

…is their urge to take your competitor’s commission.”

Company Infoblox
What do they do?
Infoblox provides robust security features to protect against DNS-based threats such as DDoS attacks, malware, and botnets.
Target persona:
CISO
Industries served?
All
Problem they solve:
Infoblox helps cybersecurity teams manage the complexities associated with securing their DNS.

Many use spreadsheets to manage their DNS inventory
The joke:

The only things more awkward than your current DNS risk mitigation strategy…

…are customer conversations after a data leak.

Company Broadcom (AppNeta)
What do they do?
AppNeta is the only network performance monitoring solution that delivers visibility into the end-user experience of any application, from any location, at any time.
Target persona:
Network observability managers
Industries served?
All
Problem they solve:
Network operations managers don’t have visibility into networks they don’t own.
The joke:

The only thing more complicated than network architecture…

…is creating an excuse absolving you of blame when the network goes down.

"Rule-of-3"

Company Neo4j
What do they do?
Graph database technology company (used to establish correlations & patterns in defined datasets).
Target persona:
Software architects
Industries served?
Financial services, software, anyone industry that develops software,
Problem they solve:
They eliminate the need for relational databases, which aren’t effective when it comes to identifying correlations & patterns.
The joke:

Your RDBMS is like Darth Vader:

  1. Big in the 70s
  2. Terrible at relationships
  3. Easily corrupted
Company Neo4j
What do they do?
Graph database technology company (used to establish correlations & patterns in defined datasets).
Target persona:
Software architects
Industries served?
Financial services, software, anyone industry that develops software,
Problem they solve:
They eliminate the need for relational databases, which aren’t effective when it comes to identifying correlations & patterns.
The joke:

Changing the model on a relational database is like recovering from hangover.

It’s:

  1. Painful
  2. Takes a while
  3. Causes downtime.
Company Fleetcor
What do they do?
They sell prepaid fuel cards to companies who have a fleet of vehicles.
Target persona:
Small business owners.
Industries served?
Construction, building products, distribution, etc.
Problem they solve:
Early-stage small business owners may not have credit, and aren’t eligible for a corporate credit card to empower employees to refuel vehicles.
The joke:

Being a small business with no credit is like trying to bribe a police officer because:

  1. It’s risky, 
  2. you can’t mention it to anyone, and 
  3. you can only pay with cash.